Thursday, 25 January 2018

The ups and downs of school life

I am so excited that the semester has started once again.It's nice to have something to focus on, but I’ve quickly found my pitfalls.

The semester started off well, I was comfortable with my classes, engaged by the content and excited to learn. Last week I began nearing my first midterm and I could feel myself become anxious. I didn’t quite account for the adjustment period after having 3 months off of work and school. My sleep wake schedule seemed out of whack and my eating habits changed. I took myself straight to the doctors who gave me sleeping tablets and ordered a week off school.

I’m feeling better now but wow did that scare me. I could see an episode before my eyes.

A year without this illness and I’m still scared of coming down.

Anyway, I’m feeling much better now, it has passed. Phew!

Love xo

Saturday, 6 January 2018

The post-it note of my 20's.

Turning 30 is seen as a big milestone. I thought it would be all doom and gloom, but I am really looking forward to this new chapter in my life. Why not? I am stable, have a good lifestyle and I am working toward my dreams.

If this is not my year I don't know when is.

On that note, looking back, its amazing how our dreams evolve and grow. When I was in my early 20's my biggest dreams were to get qualifications, maintain a good career and immigrate to a new country. To travel, explore and love.... actually now that I write it down, maybe my dreams haven't progressed that far at all haha. I'm gonna be in my 30's, still studying, have a new found love for travelling (now that I am stable) and still have an urge to explore and love. . .I just maybe need to find my love for hospitality again, or change industries. .

This all sounds amazing to me. The past few years have been utterly consumed by psychosis and bipolar. I feel like I'm turning 21 all over again. This time, admittedly, not that wild.

My 20's were a whirlwind. My bipolar was noticeable, as was I. I was the life and soul of the party, always getting into mischief and just generally making poor choices. Most of the time I could knock it down to 'being in my early 20's.  Now, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I worked hard. I usually held down 2 jobs and for a couple of years also went to school full time. I always found time to party, but then again, I'd always find time to lock the doors, close the blinds, cry and bleed. In hindsight, I was unstable.

No matter what battle I was fighting I accomplished my dreams. I got those qualifications, I built a career, I immigrated, I traveled, I explored and I fell in love.

If that's what the next 10 years has in store for me then fucking BRING IT. Lets get more qualifications, lets start new jobs, lets write, lets go to New York, the Caribbean, buy a motor home, explore and love. Love more than ever, because for the first time, I am ready for it. I have grown to accept myself including my flaws, I have chosen to forgive, slow down and enjoy. I have decided to continue my journey and further my dreams.

Yaaaay 30!!

Thank you every single person who has read a blog post, a Twitter update or an Instagram. You guys rock so much. It makes me smile everyday that someone even reads my pish. I love you <3