Saturday, 6 January 2018

The post-it note of my 20's.

Turning 30 is seen as a big milestone. I thought it would be all doom and gloom, but I am really looking forward to this new chapter in my life. Why not? I am stable, have a good lifestyle and I am working toward my dreams.

If this is not my year I don't know when is.

On that note, looking back, its amazing how our dreams evolve and grow. When I was in my early 20's my biggest dreams were to get qualifications, maintain a good career and immigrate to a new country. To travel, explore and love.... actually now that I write it down, maybe my dreams haven't progressed that far at all haha. Although different, I am gonna be in my 30's, working toward another qualification. Have a new found love for traveling (now that I am stable), and still have an urge to explore and love.

This all sounds amazing to me. The past few years have been utterly consumed by psychosis and bipolar. I feel like I'm turning 21 all over again. This time, admittedly, not that wild.

My 20's were a whirlwind. My bipolar was noticeable, as was I. I was the life and soul of the party, always getting into mischief and just generally making poor choices. Most of the time I could knock it down to 'being in my early 20's.  Now, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I worked hard. I usually held down 2 jobs and for a couple of years also went to school full time. I always found time to party, but then again, I'd always find time to lock the doors, close the blinds, cry and bleed. In hindsight, I was unstable.

No matter what battle I was fighting I accomplished my dreams. I got those qualifications, I built a career, I immigrated, I traveled, I explored and I fell in love.

If that's what the next 10 years has in store for me then fucking BRING IT. Lets get this degree, lets become a successful writer, lets go to New York, the Caribbean, buy a motor home, explore and love. Love more than ever, because for the first time, I am ready for it. I have grown to accept myself including my flaws, I have chose to forgive, slow down and enjoy. I have decided to continue my journey and further my dreams.

Yaaaay 30!!

Thank you every single person who has read a blog post, a Twitter update or an Instagram. You guys rock so much. It makes me smile everyday that someone even reads my pish. I love you <3


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