I have this notion lately to be extremely grateful for everything, but mostly I am extremely grateful to be alive. It might sound a bit over the top, but things get rocky fast and I often find myself wanting to escape. Having this new energy and happiness inside of me begs the question, why did I ever feel that worthless? Why did I want out?
Understandably the worst episodes of this illness mean I am left in a hole of self doubt and hopelessness. Sheer helplessness. The light goes out and I loose my footing fast. Some days I can't imagine living one more moment.
And then there's today.
I am so beautifully indulged in gratefulness.
I have a life worth living. I am a happy, comfortable and more importantly, stable being.
I can choose to listen to my dark thoughts or I can push through that void into something brighter.
I can take hold of my direction and try for something bigger.
I hope you feel the same. Remember, it does get better.